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I need someone who’s okay with laying in bed all day but also up for spontaneous adventures.


i literally have no idea what im gonna do if i dont end up rich

I remember on my 4th grade field trip my class was standing on a hill and my teacher said “lets roll out” and I was like oh ok so I stared rolling down the hill and I had to hold my teachers hand for the rest of the day


if a girl wants to watch a sport because she thinks a player is hot then let her, it’s not like guys watch the VS fashion show because they want to buy new bras. 



cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call



okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too

but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time

and then another person fell

and another

and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting

and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy

"I want a soul mate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know, and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like, just turn me on."
-Henry Rollins (via wordsthat-speak)


U ever been so tired ur eyelids burn when u blink


the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up